Hold onto your hats, royal watchers!

The latest chapter in the saga of Meghan Markle has everyone buzzing, and it’s about as dramatic as a royal wedding.

Our favorite Duchess, known for stirring the pot, is off to Colombia for what she’s calling a “royal tour.” But wait—didn’t she step back from royal duties?

It seems like a classic case of wanting to have her cake and eat it too.

Let’s be real here.

This trip is about as royal as a backyard barbecue.

When you’re clinging to relevance like it’s the last lifeboat on the Titanic, you’ll slap any label on it if it gets you in the headlines.

So, here we are, watching Meghan try to reclaim a title that she willingly let go.

What’s next?

A royal-themed costume party?

Now, here’s where it gets interesting.

Fashion experts are speculating that Meghan will channel her inner Kate Middleton during this Colombian escapade.

Yes, that’s right—the same Kate who has gracefully battled cancer while maintaining her royal duties.

It’s almost comical to think that Meghan might try to outshine her rival while sporting similar bling.

Seriously, how low can one go for a bit of attention?

And let’s not forget the timing.

While Kate was facing a serious health crisis, Meghan decided it was the perfect moment to drop some Netflix bombshells.

Kicking someone when they’re down is one thing, but taking advantage of a public figure’s illness?

That’s a whole new level of audacity.

Watching Meghan mimic Kate now feels like a high school drama where the outcast tries to imitate the popular kids after being expelled from the clique.

Now, about this so-called royal tour.

Vice President Francia Márquez extended an invitation, and suddenly it’s a grand affair.

The only thing truly royal about this situation is the mess it’s creating in international relations.

Imagine being a legitimate royal and having to clean up after these two!

As for fashion critiques, every outfit Meghan dons will be scrutinized more than a high school science project.

Will she opt for gold?

Emeralds?

Or will she finally wear something that doesn’t scream, “Look at me!”?

The anticipation is almost unbearable—just kidding, it’s not.

Meanwhile, Kate continues to show up for her royal responsibilities, all while battling a serious illness.

In contrast, Meghan seems to be playing dress-up in South America.

It’s like comparing a gourmet chef to someone who thinks reheating leftovers counts as cooking.

There’s simply no contest.

And let’s revisit Meghan’s claims about seeking privacy.

If this is her idea of escaping the spotlight, I can’t imagine what she considers chasing it.

The irony is almost too much to handle.

Here she is, preaching compassion and kindness while trying to overshadow a woman fighting cancer.

It’s a stark contradiction that raises eyebrows.

Then there’s Harry, once the charming prince, who now appears to be a mere shadow of his former self, trailing behind Meghan.

It’s reminiscent of a Shakespearean tragedy, where loyalty and love take a backseat to ambition.

Is he just a pawn in this game of fame?

Ultimately, no matter how many emeralds Meghan wears or how many faux royal tours she embarks on, she’ll never match Kate’s grace and dignity.

Class isn’t something you can fake or buy, and it certainly can’t be imitated.

So, what’s Meghan’s endgame?

Is she hoping that by playing royal long enough, people will forget she chose to step away?

Does she believe that accumulating air miles on these staged trips will earn her a spot back in the royal family?

Spoiler alert: that’s not how it works.

To Meghan, my advice is simple: embrace your choice and move on.

Stop trying to cling to titles you’ve relinquished.

And for Harry, it’s time to remember who you are and where you come from.

Your family still loves you despite everything.

As for the audience, don’t be swayed by the smoke and mirrors.

This is a blatant attempt to stay relevant and keep the gravy train rolling.

At its core, this saga is about integrity and honesty—qualities that seem to be lacking in the current narrative.

The Sussex saga continues, but this critic isn’t buying what they’re selling.

Remember, just because something sparkles doesn’t make it genuine.

Sometimes, it’s just fool’s gold wrapped in designer attire.

Stay true to yourself, and remember that you don’t need anyone else’s approval to shine.