Imagine if the creators of South Park decided to take a jab at Meghan Markle’s recent professional misadventures.
The satirical show would likely have a field day with her latest venture, American Riviera Orchard, a brand that seems to promise overpriced kale smoothies without even securing a trademark.
It’s almost like opening a burger joint without a menu—classic Meghan, right?
The US Patent Office’s response was crystal clear: you can’t just claim Santa Barbara as your own personal territory.
Now, she’s left clinging to a brand that lacks any legal standing.
Bravo for the planning, Duchess, but there’s more to this story.
Meghan’s business blunders don’t stop there.
If you can make a couple of smart choices, why not throw in a bad one for good measure?
She recently invested in a company based in Rwanda called Asses the Collective, which produces handmade basket bags.
Sounds ethical and heartwarming at first, until you find out that the women crafting these bags earn around $215 a month.
That’s barely enough for a warm coat, let alone a decent living.
While these artisans struggle to make ends meet, Meghan is out there touting her efforts to “save the world.”
It’s reminiscent of Cartman’s infamous business strategy: profit, exploit, and repeat.
And then there’s the marketing aspect.
It’s downright cringe-worthy.
While the Rwandan women labor away, they’re often relegated to the background, overshadowed by affluent women sipping their lattes.
Critics have aptly dubbed this approach “poverty porn.”
If Meghan truly wants to empower these women, shouldn’t she start by paying them a fair wage instead of pocket change?
Otherwise, it feels like she’s just another wealthy figure trying to sell us an organic version of empowerment, much like Randy’s antics at Whole Foods.
As Meghan’s professional reputation continues to plummet faster than Cartman’s grades on a school project, her attempts to portray herself as a savvy entrepreneur seem increasingly misguided.
It’s starting to look like she’s throwing darts at a wall, hoping something will stick.
Sure, her celebrity status might guarantee some sales, but her brand risks becoming as useful as a broken bike in a snowstorm if she doesn’t get her act together.
Despite her ongoing efforts in the business realm, Meghan appears to be living a lavish lifestyle while her brand teeters on the edge of irrelevance.
It’s akin to Cartman trying to launch a startup from his mother’s basement, surrounded by toys but lacking any real direction.
Does she even know what she’s doing?
Probably not.
Each step she takes feels like a misstep, oscillating between selling empowerment and questioning her own brand ownership.
Yikes, indeed.
But wait, there’s more!
Meghan seems to be cooking up yet another plan to salvage her image.
Will it involve yet another luxury product nobody asked for or a green initiative that’s merely a marketing gimmick?
Sprinkle some glitter on it, and surely people will buy in, right?
That appears to be her hope.
This isn’t the first time we’ve seen such tactics; remember Randy and his integrity farms?
Authenticity only has so much shelf life before consumers catch on.
Yet, despite the mounting skepticism, Meghan seems determined to ride this wave for as long as possible.
She’s likely hoping her next big idea won’t meet the same fate as her previous ventures, which were quickly shot down.
So, what’s next for Meghan?
Will she finally discover her footing, or is she destined for yet another public relations disaster?
My guess is that this train wreck is just beginning to unfold.