The holiday season has arrived, but it seems that all is not well in the Sussex household.

Meghan Markle, affectionately known as the Duchess of Drama, finds herself on the verge of tears as she receives a disappointing snub from none other than Auntie Oprah, the woman who played a significant role in propelling her to stardom.

It’s quite audacious, isn’t it?

But fear not, Meghan, for Oprah has more important matters to attend to than your Christmas party.

In another surprising turn of events, Meghan’s beloved mother, Doria Ragland, arrives at the scene in a humble Hertz car rental.

One can’t help but wonder why she didn’t borrow one of Harry’s fancy cars for the occasion.

It’s like showing up to the glamorous Met Gala wearing a Walmart t-shirt.

Quite the contrast, indeed.

Now, let’s delve into the heart of the matter.

Meghan and Harry had hoped for a cozy Christmas reunion with the royal family.

However, it appears that ship has sailed, or rather, Meghan and Harry are the ones who have sailed away from the royals.

Sources close to the couple, though their reliability is questionable, have whispered about their desire to spend quality time with their British family.

But alas, Omid Scobie’s second book release, Endgame, has thrown a wrench into their plans.

It’s as if gasoline has been poured onto an already raging fire.

And speaking of fires, the Christmas table is set, but instead of a grand turkey, the couple settles for a chicken from their own garden.

How classy, Meghan.

Truly remarkable.

Let’s not forget the placemats either, which have been replaced by stacks of Meghan’s best-selling picture book, The Bench.

It seems that betrayal and sorrow are on the menu today, and they’re merely reheated leftovers from last year.

But what’s Christmas without a little drama, right?

Anti-Oprah’s absence from the festivities leaves us speculating.

Perhaps she’s grown weary of hearing about Spotify deals, coronations, and car chases.

Can we really blame her?

Meanwhile, Doria and Tyler Perry arrive in an electric car rental from Herd’s, because nothing says a royal Christmas like renting a car.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

As for the Sussexes’ idea of festive fun, they opt for Omid Scobie as their court jester instead of traditional charades.

Fireside storytelling takes center stage, though these tales are as artificial as they come.

But the couple thoroughly enjoys every minute of it.

And let’s not forget their matching cardigans and beanies, purely for show during their post-lunch beach walk, where they engage in launching ships in bottles.

Apparently, they believe they can save the world, one ship at a time.

How noble of them.

We mustn’t overlook the presence of the royal hangers-on, the Hewitts, who seem to have no one else to invite for Christmas.

They find solace in communing with the spirit of Diana, who conveniently tells them exactly what they want to hear.

Meghan, you are the fairest of them all, and Harry, you are not old and weird, according to the ghostly advice of Diana.

But here’s the real kicker, folks.

The Sussexes can’t even pretend to have a genuinely happy family.

Their best attempt is to stage fake Hallmark movie moments with their children, all for those precious Instagram photos.

It’s akin to witnessing a train wreck unfold in slow motion.